“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
Some time ago, I took my parents on a day trip through the mountains. My dad
isn’t in the best of health has really bad health problems; most, but not all, of which stem from a massive stroke back in 2007.
On this particular day trip, my father wanted to find a needle in a haystack, really. A road by which he knew by another name. Tick Road. You couldn’t ask anyone: “Hey, where’s Tick Road?” Because they would look at you with some degree of pity. This road is one my father remembered as beautiful and one he really wanted to rediscover. We didn’t find Tick Road that day.
I also didn’t find Tick Road a few weeks later when I went to search for it, either. Even with my husband in tow. Now, what makes this exceptionally odd is that Tick Road stems off of another road (but so do about a bazillion other roads) and I knew exactly where that road was. That road wasn’t hard to find, and it too was a stunning stretch of asphalt through the mountainside. But that road wasn’t Tick Road.
Yesterday, my book was available for purchase. I had planned on yesterday being a celebratory day despite the fact I didn’t actually predict I’d sell anything. Let’s be honest, for a lot of us the simple fact our work is complete and up for sale is celebration enough. But, as I’ve already told a few people, my launch day was nightmarish. The content of the book wasn’t my problem. The presentation of it was. I’m a Type A. I’m OCD. I’m a perfectionist. Whatever. I’ve worked on this story for a year. I’ve shed tears over this book. I’ve had gnarly paper cuts, blissful dreams and night terrors over this book. I’ve gained friends and lost friends over this book. I love this book.
Getting the eBook to look the way I want is apparently going to be some kind of Apocalypse Now undertaking.
[Sorry! I got sidetracked. Back to Tick Road.]
So, I had to get out of my house today. It wasn’t an option. Do you ever get that way? It was like the very walls were choking me and I had to throw on the first clothes I came to and just bolt. I had no idea where I was going. Honestly, Tick Road was not even on my radar when I set out. I know this, because coffee was on my radar when I set out.
Once I had my coffee, I discovered I had exactly a half-tank of gas, no phone charger, and 48% battery. So at first I thought I’d just go downtown. SCREW traffic. No, thank you.
So, I headed out of the city. I thought about going to the tiny little town where my grandmother had lived, getting some drive-thru lunch and having a solo picnic… but before I realized it, the mountains were off in the distance, and there was no debate anymore.
I went to Pumpkintown. (Yes, that’s a place.) I skirted places called Caesar’s Head, Table Rock, and realized Jones Gap would make the trifecta!
The higher I climbed in elevation, the less bummed I was about my imperfect eBook design.
I almost missed the road for Jones Gap, but once I was on it, I remembered how many times I went up and down this road with my parents looking for Tick Road, and suddenly I had a mission and I decided even if I had to call roadside assistance (assuming my battery held out) because I’d run out of gas, I was not leaving that road until I #$&%=+! found Tick Road.
Three trips up and down the way, turning the heads of farm laborers and the retired people living along that road who apparently check their mailboxes fourteen times a day—but I found it!
I discovered I had slightly less than a quarter-tank of gas left, somewhere in the 30ish percentile of phone battery… but ahead of me was the famed Tick Road. It was easy to stop in the middle of the lane and contemplate what to do, because I hadn’t seen another car in nearly a half-hour. Shortest debate of my life, probably.
At the crest of Tick Road, the temperature was about five degrees cooler than at its base, and I still didn’t know how much farther the road would take me. My gas needle hadn’t moved much, and I still had a need in my bones to keep going.
When I came out at the other side, the vast improvement of the road conditions told me I might not be in South Carolina anymore, and oh! those mountains took my breath away. I knew my elation was to be short lived, and that I really needed to head home. The majority of the way back, I talked to myself… yes I do that (and luckily, with the popularity of Bluetooth, my random roadmates don’t know I’m crazy!)
My journey to Tick Road today reminded me that I may be a lot of things, but I am not a quitter. In fact, I am pretty hard headed and stubborn, and even though I have to turn around a lot and I may have to go back to where I started: I will eventually find where I am going. Even if I have to do it alone.